So Easily Seduced (by materials)
Rebecca, you’re so easily seduced by materials.
This may sound a bit harsh or shameful. It is not. It is simply the truth.
If you’re just joining me, I’m in graduate school for a terminal degree (doesn’t that sound serious!?): my MFA in Studio Arts. Materials matter to me!
The statement about how easily I’m seduced came during my Advancement to Candidacy Meeting at the end of March.
The full-time faculty of the department reviewed my artist statement. In it I outlined where I’ve been, where I am now, and where I see myself going in the program. I presented examples and samples of my work. These are visual metaphors inspired by my emotional autobiography. I fielded some questions, then left the room for a very long 20 minutes while the committee hashed out my fate.
I was called back in and told: You are advanced!
Yay!
But.
Wait. There’s a but?!
You’re the one person we need to nudge most. Not to make more work, but to find focus for your thesis show in one year’s time. I nod and smile. Rebecca, you’re so easily seduced by materials. The smile remains. A tiny inner voice says: oh. right. shit.
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Badass with a band saw! Winter term. -
Clay coil bowl. -
Blowing glass in the hot shop. Spring term. -
Playing with multiples in 3-D design.
I love grad school so much: the academic rigor, the group critiques, the amazing studios, the delightful and steady flow of exploration and making. And working with so MANY different materials! Now, I need to get clear. My committee will meet with me again this term to learn my focus. HELP!
Finding My Way
Every morning I still sit in the orange armchair facing our back garden. I sip tea and journal. As I move my pen across the page my intent is most often to turn inward— pause, center, and be still with my Self and my thoughts—before I turn outward into the stream of the new day.
This writing, akin to meditation or prayer, is personal, a bit mundane, and often repetitive. I record my previous day’s adventures, or outline the day ahead, remind myself of my divine identity, hold those I love in the light, name gratitudes, and surrender my worries and judge-y tendencies.
But when I write here, I use words as a way to be brave with my story, find my way and perhaps make sense of mental or emotional confusion, and figure out and organize what I think. This writing is more like gentle hands untangling a snarled ball of yarn, or like a compass when I feel disoriented or lost.
Easily Seduced
I LOVE this grad program! Since entering, I’ve worked with paper, wood, glass (cast, blown, fused) yarn, clay, soap, concrete, photos, to name a few. The committee for advancement knew of what they spoke!
However, they also noted that this broad sampling of materials has helped me move from didactic, representational work into more abstract expression. Art school really encourages this.
Now, some of my work is so abstract that I can say with confidence I’m getting a lot of bang for my buck!
A Buffet Appetite
I entered the program with a painting portfolio. And I haven’t painted since! There are so many other media to try!
Sometimes I wish I were a painter, sculptor, printer, photographer, et cetera. But I’m not. Exploring what’s available has been thrilling.
Occasionally, I think it would be good to master the techniques of one medium. But nothing has called me by name. So I keep trying different mediums, making things and figuring out what my hands can do with wood or glass or cement.
I am an Artist
Slowly, I’ve begun to realize that I don’t need to identify as a painter, sculptor, etc. I am an artist. A multi-disciplinary one at that. May I just say I LOVE this. SO. MUCH! I am an artist. Grinning from ear to ear as I type!
Back to the tangle, the need for a compass in an unfamiliar place; finding the WHY through my writing.
My challenge this term is to find focus & clarity for my thesis show in one year’s time.
When I met with the committee two weeks ago, I really thought I had done due diligence to prepare. While I am officially a candidate for my MFA (woo hoo), I must meet them again this term. They want to know What is it you want your work to say for your thesis show?
So here is what I’ll do: For the next eight or nine weeks I’ll borrow an idea from one of my favorite writers. I just reread Brené Brown’s book The Gifts of Imperfection. In it she outlines a short list of blog prompts. They are:
- What I’m trusting…
- What I’m grateful for…
- What inspires me…
- How I’m practicing my faith
What I'm trusting
I trust that the writing process will help me find my way to focus and clarity.
It’s not that I have nothing to say with my work, it’s that I have so much to say. And in truth, a lot of it is disjointed!
So, I’m asking you to walk with me as I trust writing to clarify & organize my thoughts on the way to the next meeting with my committee.
Maybe there's something tangled or confused in your head or heart. You're welcome to use these prompts in your journaling practice. If you want to share your process, I'm all ears!